This is not good for anyone.
So, I'm going to do a series of my own tips on how to cross the divide. This one is for the ladies because, well, there is less advice already out there for them. Sorry about all the stereotyping, which I usually don't like, but this is all about steretypes and you can change a lot of the nouns to suit you.
"All he does is play." I completely understand being frustrated when your man seems to be using games to get out of doing stuff around the house. I know, it's really annoying that men seem to have so many excuses, watching sports being the even more common version (and these days sports are on 24/7 on multiple channels!), and a certain amount of pulling them away from their pursuits is necessary if there is going to be an equal partnership. If your man is doing NOTHING to help, this is not for you, he needs way more help than any blog could give. Most men these days ARE pulling their weight, or at least trying very hard to, and that's why it's very important to allow them time to do what makes them happy. It's no different than enjoying a manicure or watching a chick flick, or whatever you like to do in what free time you can wrangle. Compromise is key from both parties.
The other thing to keep in mind is that when someone is in the midst of a huge event in their game, like a battle or a tough puzzle, they really shouldn't be interrupted unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY (as in trip to the emergency room necessary). A person needs to focus in those moments, just like focusing on the meal you're preparing when it's just about done so you don't burn it. If you do interrupt someone at that point, expect a certain level of anger and resentment that is completely justified.
"I just don't like video games and don't want all that stuff in my house." You need to explore WHY. It's not for everybody, but I've heard an awful lot of excuses that just don't apply to anyone but the person who makes them. If the problem is that he likes uber-violent games that you can't relate to, well, you just have to accept and ignore it, just like, say, "Die Hard". If the issue is that that you don't want to have your TV time interrupted by games, you need a seperate TV option (cheaper than a divorce, lol). If you don't like consoles in your living room or wherever, well, keep in mind that he puts up with your tchotchkes and pillows, which are far more intrusive overall. Consoles can be hidden cleverly away, especially in this age of wireless controllers. If you don't want a giant new HDTV, well, keep in mind that you will get to watch movies in a way that looks WAY better than any movie screen. I was worried about a 50" overwhelming our tiny living room but now I'm almost as in love with it as with him (just joking, well, mostly).
"He doesn't spend any quality time with me anymore." This is the most legitimate complaint that I've heard. It's hardly restricted to gaming, but when a man is playing in your house it's very conspicuous that he's paying no attention to you. The best solution to this is compromise again. Schedule a regular date night, where both of you have to spend time talking (especially important if you have kids) and doing something you both enjoy. Create a schedule for both of your solo pursuits, making it equitable. It's not fair for one partner to get more time than the other for fun under any circumstances. The best solution, though, is to find a game you both enjoy and can play together. In this day and age there really is something for everyone, you just need to get past prejudices and search. A trip to the game store can be a wonderful activity in and of itself if you agree to not make fun of each other's tastes. Besides, how many shopping trips does your guy actually ENJOY?
Around our house we have the problem of both of us loving games that are single-player more than multi-player. We have 3 consoles and a gaming laptop, so our solution is to play games simultaneously in the same room. Even though we are playing seperately it fosters a lot of togetherness, we both tend to spend at least some of the time watching the other and helping with strategies. It's fun and adds a great dimension to both our games and our relationship.
"He spends too much money on games." Okay, another very legitimate complaint, at least in many cases and particularly when you are financially joined, as in marriage or even just sharing expenses. Games have gotten ridiculously expensive when you are talking about complex games on discs and even cheap downloads add up rather quickly. Here's the thing, though, this is the same exact thing as any other financial concern. You need to work together on budgeting, where each person gets a certain amount of "play money" for the things they enjoy according to the amount of money you have left after bills and other necessities. If you are not actually financially tied together, though, you are out of luck on this one and need to examine if he's really overspending in this area. Does he shirk his responsibilities to buy the latest game? Well, that's not a gaming problem, that's a spending problem you need to decide if you can deal with. If he is responsible, though, you have no right to dictate what he does with what he's earned. If he doesn't put dates with you high on his priority list, financially and otherwise, well, that suggests deeper problems that have little to do with gaming once again.
There are plenty more complaints around, but I think those are the most common ones and they are pretty easy to get past if you actually want to. Just remember that all work and no play makes us all grumpy, not to mention that there are far worse ways for him to spend his time and money. Games are an easy scapegoat to avoid larger problems, rarely are they the actual problem.
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